


The End

by Sum_Won



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6312538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sum_Won/pseuds/Sum_Won
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You just broke your leg, brat," gritted out Levi with a bored tone, "Stop being such a drama queen. It's not like you're dying."</p><p>But I am.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. And I'm determined to finish it. owo
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

I can feel it...

Creeping up on me, almost smothering me from time to time.

But I don't reject it.

No, I can't.

Because it's obviously the aftermath of a wondrous high, a kill to a save so fine, a bitterness to a chocolate too decadent...

And I, alone, am willing to accept it.

It's a fine trade, a simple mistake that can be fixed with the greatest of all sacrifices, and if this is my final giving then I will wholeheartedly abandon it all.

"A week... maybe?" Hange winces slightly.

I know she isn't completely sure.

I'm not completely sure.

No one is.

How could we be with such low technology?

"That's fine," I answer with an expressionless face.

There is nothing to feel, nothing to grieve, because I already knew it was coming.

I had already been pre-warned by my own exhilarating growth.

"Who knows?"

Hange smiles sadly as she turns away to clean her utensils momentarily.

"No one," she answers solemnly.

"Not even Comm--"

"No," she cuts me off with a sigh, "Although I may have to tell him at some point."

I airily laugh, "I guess it's a good thing they don't need me anymore."

Hange turns around with a tilt of her head, "I don't know about that..."

I blink at her half hearted statement and suggest, "Let's keep it that way. Let's not tell anyone."

The eccentric squints at me with calculating eyes, "You know the Court's heart too well, eh?"

"I guess," I softly whisper, "A sudden death will be better than a gradual... They'll have less time to plan, right?"

"But if that's so then what about the Legion Scouts?" questions the eccentric with a pout, "We'll be in the same boat--"

"No we won't," I smile confidently, "Because you know."

Hange stares at me with a soft gaze before answering, "I'll see what I can do."

And just like that, she's out of the room before I can say any more. I slowly pull himself up from the chair I had been seated in.

* * *

 "Hey," a certain voice suddenly echoes in the room.

I spin around to face them slightly caught off guard, "Y- Yes sir!"

"Where's four eyes?"

I bite my upper lip in thought, "Hange was here a moment ago, but she suddenly left talking about titans or something..."

"Tch... That's just great," spits the older man with a roll of eyes, "You'll have to do then. Come with me."

I follow him quietly as we head for his office. We don't converse as much as I'd like to, knowing that I'm going to be dead soon. But I can't really pull moves out because I know he'll become aware of me acting strange. He hands me a stack of papers and tells me to check for any grammatical errors. I comply, reaching out to him to grab the thick stack of sheets. He releases them into my hand, and I attempt to grip them...

But fail.

The pages fly onto the ground in a messy heap as my hand that had been reaching out suddenly plunges swinging to my side.

Levi glares at me through squinting eyes and grits, "Really, Jaeger? If you didn't have a good grip on them, at least tell me before hand."

"Sorry sir," I stiffly reply, knowing full well that it was my fault in its entirety.

I bend down and use my left hand to gather the papers while my right is placed onto my lap so as to conceal the sudden paralysis of my dominant limb. Levi sees me slowly picking each paper up one by one as I make sure to put them back in order. He sighs but says no more as he continues to work on other things. Things go generally smoother after that with the older man's attention away from my rigid actions. As the sky darkens, he tells me to light the candles. I comply, taking the match from the corner of his desk, attempting to light them.

But then I realize that I can't.

Incapable.

I can't do this.

I turn around and stare at the Corporal who's head is hunched over his papers with brows creased in deep thought.

I worry.

I stress.

And I, for the first time in so long, come to face a distant fear of mine. The fear of him knowing-- just like when I realized I loved him for the first time, when I realized I wouldn't be sad nor regretful of dying if it meant he could keep living in this world of terror and beauty. With pure luck, the door opens and Mikasa steps in. She addresses Levi briefly before turning to me with a smile. She reaches out to embrace me and I laugh. I take the chance to ask her if she can light the candles while I use the restroom. She nods and says she'll take care of it. I walk out of the room and into the hallway.

My right hand can no longer function. I must tell Hange that, but she most likely is busy right now. The eccentric had told me a week, but perhaps it's better to say that I will be dead in two to three days. I sigh as I reach the bathroom entrance and walk in.

I stare in the mirror. I look fine. I'm not pale, nor am I sweating profusely. I look healthy, handsome even. I close my eyes momentarily, massaging my scalp with my left hand. When I open my eyes, I realize that the vision in my right eye blurs. I blink a few times to clear off my vision. I fail, because, in the next few minutes, the view of the world in my right eye is completely gone. I become afraid. I have to find Hange. I turn to leave the bathroom but instead find myself facing Levi.

"What took you so freaking long?" he snaps at me with his usual tone.

I salute him with a nervous reply, "Sorry sir! I'll be quicker next time!"

But he stares at me like an idiot, and as I look at him, I know why.

My right hand does not meet my heart.

Instead, it continues to hang at my side. I look like a child trying to hide a toy from their parents, and my face lights up. Levi says nothing though and merely goes on to do his business. I walk out back to his room to finish the papers.

* * *

Two days pass.

I spend more time than ever with Hange.

She tries.

And tries.

And tries.

But it's useless.

We both know too well.

No one knows.

No one has noticed.

I'm glad.

But then I'm called to Levi one night.

He wants me to help him with something.

I go in, and he's fully dressed.

"Sir?" I call out to him.

"That damn four eyes fucking tangled my gear and left at that. Grab those damn wire cutters and help me out of this shit!" he snaps angrily.

I nod with urgency as I reach out quickly and yank the wire cutters with my left hand from the table. Within ten minutes I've somehow managed to cut through the majority of the belts with ease. I'm on my knees and cutting off the lines at his thighs when he begins speaking.

"It's fine. This is good enough. I can at least take off my pants now. Gather the wire and put them in that corner," Levi instructs with a point of fingers.

"Yes, sir," I answer with a nod as he moves away from me and walks towards the bed.

I pull myself up--

But fail.

I fail.

I fail so miserably and fall flat on the ground onto my side.

Levi doesn't turn around at the sound of my collision but merely retorts, "I swear you've been a butter finger lately..."

I try to laugh it off, but I know I'm screwed. I can't stand. My whole right side is gone. It's gone.

I can't feel it.

I can't feel it anymore.

I can't make it function.

I use my left hand and push myself off the ground so that I'm at least sitting.

"Sir," I sigh with a tired huff trying to act in pain, "Could you possibly get Hange for me. I think I just broke my leg."

Levi head snaps at my conclusion and eyes me with a raised brow, "Really? Just like that?"

I wish I was joking but I'm not-- at least in the way he thinks.

Levi stares at me for a few seconds before it registers that it's not a jest. His eyes harden suddenly and within a millisecond, he's by my side with a scrunch of brows.

"Damn it, brat-- be more careful," he grits out bitterly as he takes hold of my thigh in order to inspect my supposedly broken limb.

"D-don't!" I gasp, more so in fear that he'll realize I'm lying.

Levi's eyes snap up to meet mine. My monocular vision is horrid and I suddenly fear I'm going to lose my eyesight completely. However, the firm hand cupping my cheek tells me other wise.

"I'll get her," Levi firmly reassures me as he wipes away my tears.

I can't answer because I'm afraid-- and so I nod.

I'm so afraid that the truth will come spilling out. I'm afraid I'll fail myself. My silence is taken to heart, and Levi immediately get's up dashing out the door. I collapse back onto the floor. I want to close my eyes and rest, but I can't.

I'm afraid...

Afraid that if I close my eyes then I might not be able to open them and see anymore. Within a minute, there's the sound of footsteps echoing in the halls and I'm suddenly yanked up from my position.

"Eren."

Hange's voice isn't loud, but it's firm and strong.

I catch sight of her worried face.

"Hange," I breath in relief.

Her face softens slightly at the fact that I'm still alive, "Come on. Only half right?"

"Yeah," I grunt.

Levi is standing to the side slightly confused by our short conversation. Hange pulls me up by the side that is paralyzed, and I use the other half of my body to support her half carry and dragging of my body.

* * *

"Is your leg better?" he asks quietly as he sits on the other side of the room and sips his tea.

I'm in bed and propped up in a sitting position.

Both of my legs are gone.

I can't use them anymore.

I'm surprised my brain hasn't failed me yet.

"Yeah," I respond with a weak smile, "But it's going to be a while before I'm back up on my feet."

"Tch... Causing so much trouble," speaks the older man as he sets his tea down, "How in the hell do you even break your leg while on your knees anyway?"

I don't answer him.

I didn't break my leg although Hange put a caste on me just for looks.

But I can't tell him that.

"Sir..." I begin rather too quietly.

"Hn?" he questions me urging for a finish.

"There's a book," I continue, "If you look under my pillow case, there's a brown leather bound book. It's my father's doctorate notes. He used them a lot during therapy with his patients. It doesn't have any value pertaining to titans or anything. But I think that if you give it to Hange, she may be able to help further the medical institutions within and outside the walls."

Levi says nothing at my sudden introduction of topic.

"Also, under my bed there is stash of papers bound together. Letters. They're from my mother's grandmother. They've got a lot of good recipes in there. Mikasa might like it. Armin loves cooking so--"

"Shut up."

I pause from the sudden interruption and blink a few times.

Crap, my eyesight's out.

I can't see anymore.

But I hear.

And I hear so very clearly.

"You just broke your leg, brat," gritted out Levi with a bored tone, "Stop being such a drama queen. It's not like you're dying."

But I am.

And with every second passing it comes closer and closer.

When it reaches my heart, I know I will be gone.

But I can't say that.

I can't tell him.

I close my eyes because even if I open them it won't matter anymore.

"Sir, please get Hange," I state solemnly.

He goes out to get her. When he returns he stands at the door while Hange comes close to me.

"All gone. I'll probably have until night fall."

She takes a hold of my good hand. The only one that I have left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short. Very short, but I have to post this or I'll forget.
> 
> ~Sum_Won~

Maybe this is all part of a bigger plan.

Maybe this is the way I will finally be given relief.

Escape.

Freedom.

I'm laying in bed with Hange at my bedside. Atleast... I am assuming she's by my side. From the little I can hear, she seems quite calm, but I know that she's probably rerunning through what she needs to get done once this is all over.

My whole body is slowly losing all sensation. Fortunately above my tongue is still functioning-- though I am quite sluggish. Hange theorizes that it's probably because my heart is attempting to keep me alive via only my most vital organs and brain. Though it seems that we are idle, we are not. From time to time I can hear the sound of pen meeting paper. Hange probably has a notebook in her hand and is recording everything she can. I, in turn, try to give her as much information as I can.

The state of my breathing.

Symptoms, sensations.

Aches, pains.

Numbness.

We're both so concentrated on attempting to get data, we don't realize the knock at the door that signal's someone's presence. So it opens without any acknowledgment.

"Jesus, Hange," grumbles Levi as quietly shuts the door behind him, "Are you going to run Eren's brain into the ground?"

I can't even hold in a laugh, though it comes out as a chuckle. It seems my inhibitions are slipping me. The bitterness of it all... It's begun to seep in.

Hange suddenly stands up. I am guessing she's keeping her eyes concentrated on the papers in her hand because there is no exchange between the two. She keeps mumbling to her self seemingly too concentrated on trying to memorize what I had just said before Levi came in. The echo of a door shutting tells me perhaps she has left, because I can no longer hear her mumbles and shuffling.

"What's with her?" grunts Levi as he settles on the creaking stool Hange had been using earlier.

"Epiphany maybe?" I respond with a smile.

Levi sighs, "You're so tired you can't even open your eyes. You might as well be dead, but Hange keeps kicking at you for data?"

"Well. Hange can't let death get in the way of a scientific discov--"

I pause suddenly when I one of my ears pop and give out.

The older man in the room notices this because his voice grows so very close.

"Brat, did you fall asleep mid-sentence?" he grumbles under his breath.

I suddenly wish I could reach out to him.

I suddenly wish I could feel more than just his breath on my cheek.

I suddenly wish I could hold onto him with all my strength and feel the dips and curves of his flesh...

The stretch of his muscles...

The tensing of his back.

The relaxing of his shoulders.

Feel him inhale and exhale against me to tell me that yes-- I'm still alive.

Because I can still feel.

I can still feel...

I can still FEEL.

Because even though my body is as good as gone, these feelings-- as long as my heart keeps circulating blood. As long as my brain keeps sending off electrical signals and my synapses keep communicating...

I can still feel these emotions.

"What's wrong?" a tender voice above me inquires in a hushed tone, "Eren?"

"What?" I croak as I faintly taste the saltiness of tears in my mouth.

The soft tracing of fingertips on my cheeks makes me wonder what expression is on the Captain's face right now.

"What's wrong, Eren?" repeats Levi more firmly this time, "Did Hange do something?"

"Sir..." I exhale with soft sniffle opening my useless eyes, "Sir, can I ask of you something?"

There's a pause from the older man.

"What is it?"

It's as if I'm searching for him in a body of darkness. The blank void doesn't deter me from attempting to look at where I heard his voice from though.

"If you ever had a kid, what would you call them?"

Another pause from the older man.

"What?" hisses Levi in annoyance as he grabs hold of one of my cheeks and pinches it, "If I had a kid? What's gotten into you? Crying and then suddenly talking about kids? Are you high on something Hange gave you? Pregnant much?"

"No... But just what if... What if you did have one?" I insist with a smile and tears streaming down my face.

The Captain seems to consider my strange state with another pause, but reluctantly gives in.

Levi gives out a sigh, "Well... Whatever you would call them I guess."

I pause at his answer, attempting to process his words.

However, in the end I realize it's useless to think because my thoughts are all too muddled.

"Alright," I murmur before closing my eyes.


End file.
